Can't go around it....

Dear Grief,
I remember when I feared you... dreaded, avoided, even despised you. But you kept inviting yourself back - the persistent “uninvited houseguest” of my aching soul. You are smart, though. You are like a caring friend that tells others what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear.

You know very well that if we avoid you we become bitter, lost souls. You are difficult to be around because you aren’t gentle so we try to tiptoe around you. We try desperately not to acknowledge you out of fear. You understand that we can’t survive if we lock you out. You are a harsh reality. You are treated like a huge, purple, polka-dotted elephant pushing its way through the middle of the party. It is ignored even when crushing none other than the hostess (me)!

Your desire is for us to embrace you as a dear friend. You want to help us grow with you and through you. A healthy friendship that moves forward, not stagnate by staying in the past. Oh, you bring a sting of pain that causes us to regard you as a foe. Your presence is venomous at first. But lately something strange is happening. You are bringing me comfort like a cozy, handmade scarf on a bitter, cold winter’s eve.

You help me to move into my future... to reshape it, to define it. You are there with me when I reminisce about the way it used to be... the way I want it to remain. You support me to get me through the pain of ‘now’.

Just like the kids’ camping song says about fleeing from the bear and you reach the edge of the dark, scarey forest.... grief... you can’t go around it, can’t go over it, can’t go under it.... gotta go through it.